The Meaning Of Nothing

cause // effect

**sits around with thoughts of one,
makes it harder,
because nothing can be done.
i took too long to think and act,
i kick myself,
as i heat this crack,
it bubbles and foams on this spoon,
i'll soon forget,
about that one soon.
i now stare at the wall in front,
with nothing in mind,
but to smoke a blunt.
im not fucked up enough until,
i take one more,
of those white pills.
what am i doing, where did i go,
im looking at me,
i see nothing but blow.
on my nose from a few moments ago,
i think i've hit my limit,
nah fuck it, gimme some mo'.


comedown // depression

**waiting for my hangover to subside,
after all those drugs,
i nearly died.
i sat, and sat, sat all alone,
in my hole,
just like a drone.
didn't break the silence once,
ive been so mute,
for what feels like months.
i can't go on no longer, i hate to say,
so to you i write,
my goodbyes today.
i hope that one of these days,
you'll understand,
this wicked phase.
this final time that i could not escape,
it hurt so bad,
hurt as bad as rape.
out of everything im going to miss,
i fear whats worse,
is your soft kiss.
nothing matters now, its all too late,
im sorry, im sorry,
it was just fate.


decision // release

**i said that i lied about the notes before,
now i confess,
i did that, plus more.
dont be mad, upset, or care,
its just my phase,
my moment of despair.
im not like you, i never was,
u'd like to think so,
but thats just because,
you want to see, some good in me,
stop making excuses,
just let me be free.
dont try to change me, its not gonna work,
im not a nice person,
im just another jerk.
one more face in the crowd, just one more guy,
please believe it,
im not gonna lie.
i raise my glass to you, i give you much praise,
i hope you see now,
its not just a phase.
this is my life, this is who i am,
go on your own,
you'll find another man.
im sorry i went, this far with you,
you dont need me,
theres so much better you can do.